FAST
FAST is a guide for protecting self-respect during an interaction. It balances fairness, appropriate accountability, values, and honesty. It does not mean refusing every compromise or avoiding an apology when you have caused harm.
When to use it
- You are about to agree to something that crosses an important limit
- You keep apologizing for having a reasonable need
The steps
Be fair
Consider both people's needs, including your own.
Avoid unnecessary apologies
You do not need to apologize for existing or making a respectful request. Do apologize and repair when your actions have hurt someone.
Stick to your values
Know which limits matter to you before negotiating. Discomfort or disappointment alone does not mean your boundary is wrong.
Be truthful
Avoid exaggerating, inventing excuses, or making promises you do not intend to keep. You can be honest without sharing private details.
An example
Priya is asked to work on a planned day off. She says, 'I am not available Saturday. I can help hand things over on Friday.' She does not invent an illness or apologize repeatedly for keeping the time she already arranged.